Yes, I have been MIA for quite some time. No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth...if you are on Facebook at all, you at least know that much. ;) But I did, unfortunately, fall off the bandwagon...and I fell pretty hard. I'm a little battered and bruised from the fall (smile), but I'm climbing back on and I'm going to give it another go (maybe that "take 2" should be more like take 2 bazillion and two...but, when you grab a pic from Facebook, you just go with it)! ;)
It drives me crazy when people who have never had to struggle with their weight (and when I say struggle, I don't mean 10-20 pounds...I'm talking SERIOUS, sometimes lifelong, weight struggles) say that overweight people should "just go on a diet" - like it's just that easy. Even with an ever-growing obesity problem in America, there are still people who think that overweight people want to be that way, that they just don't care, or that they don't have a strong enough desire to change. Before you start to judge someone for their weight (or for ANY reason, for that matter), take time to find out what it's REALLY like to walk in their shoes. If desire alone could make it happen, I would have been a size 2 loooong time ago (or at least a 12)! ;) If desire + diet, or even desire + diet + exercise, could make it happen, I'd have already achieved that goal. But, it's much more than that. It's overcoming mental, as well as physical obstacles. It means separating the memory from the food...and finding a place for each. It means overcoming a lifetime of bad habits...some of them rooted in childhood. It means realizing the weight did not appear overnight and won't leave that quickly either. It means understanding that fad diets are a fad for a reason...they only last so long (and usually are not that healthy). It means putting yourself first, even when you feel guilty doing so. It means taking extra time to prepare meals, rather than just picking up fast food. It means planning ahead for special events and eating out. It means forgiving yourself when you fail, because to beat yourself up will only make you spiral further away from your goal. It means making the commitment over and over again...and over again!
So...here I am...starting over...AGAIN! I'm not doing Weight Watchers right now...just doesn't fit into our monthly budget at the time. But, I know what to do...I just need to do it. We did use money from my hubby's bonus at work to pay for a year's membership to the fitness centers in our community through Parks & Rec. I set a goal of working out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings while my hubby gets ready for work...and I'm 2 for 2 on that for my first week! I purchased the membership on Tuesday after my son's homeschool co-op, so Wednesday was my first day working out. I also plan to find some time this weekend to put in some extra workout time.
While I'm not officially following an eating plan, I am watching what I eat. There will be times I'll splurge (our Bible Study class always has a nice spread of snacks on Saturday nights...and then, there's the Super Bowl party...but, I digress...), but even in those times, I'll be more careful about what I put on my plate and watch what I eat the rest of the week...even put in a little extra time at the gym when I can. :)
Once upon a time in a land far, far away (at least according to my family who constantly tell me how FAAAARRRR away I live from them now), I had the blessing of living close to a cousin who was a BIG (read: bordering on obsessive) exercise fanatic. She was that way because she had struggled with a weight problem in her childhood and had overcome it. She never once made reference to my weight...but simply asked if I'd like to go with her to take her daughter (who was a baby at the time...not so much anymore) on a stroller ride. We walked and talked...and before I knew it, it became a regular event...each time, I'm sure, walking just a little bit farther. But, I didn't mind...I loved spending the time with my cousin! It wasn't much longer before she had convinced me to join the YMCA and get up at the crack of crazy (5am!!!) to go workout together. Somewhere along the way, our church started a weight loss group called First Place. It was like Weight Watchers meets Bible study...and of course, my cousin was leading the nutrition portion. She asked me to join, almost as if it were me doing her a favor...but as it turns out, she's the one who did me the huge favor! In that group, I lost 80 pounds! That was more than I had ever lost before...or have since. I was actually the weight I claimed to be on my driver's license! ;) I kept it off for awhile, but life got in the way. I was in school at the time, finishing up my teaching degree. I ended up taking the night shift at my job so that I could do my internship during the day, which meant I only slept 3 hours a day (yes, DAY...afternoon, actually) during the week. My cousin moved, due to her husband's job...so my workout/accountability partner was gone. And when my degree was finished, I also moved and spent my first year here living with my other cousin (the twin of the one I'd worked out with...but who had never had a serious weight problem a day in her life). That cousin once saw a picture of me at my, then, heaviest weight and made the comment that she didn't know if she could love me like that. She quickly realized what she had said and apologized...but the comment still stung, and unfortunately, is still with me today. I don't know if subconsciously I set out to prove her wrong or what...but the weight started slowly creeping back on. Since that time, I've tried many, many, many times to lose the weight again...losing 5, 10...sometimes 30 pounds at a time, but then not following through or giving in to temptation, or just plain getting tired of always being on a diet and feeling different (read: total rebellion)! And yet, here I am again. I'd like to say it's my last time starting over...that I'll finally get it this time...and that's certainly my goal! But if I fail, I plan to pick myself back up and jump right back on that bandwagon again (much sooner next time so that I don't lose as much ground)!! :)
So...why am I telling you all this? What do I need or want from you? Yep, I do need your help! But, once again...I'm not looking for a diet police (if you remember from my first post, that's a trigger for my rebellion!). What I really need is cheerleaders! When I look back on that most successful weight-loss journey, I realize that the one key ingredient that made it the most successful was not the diet, or the exercise, or even the accountability (though that was at times helpful)...it was that my cousin was my biggest cheerleader! When I didn't think I could go any further, she cheered me on and I found the strength to keep going! When I didn't want to eat another frozen diet meal (I was single at the time), she would help me find alternatives that would both be healthy and would fit into my busy schedule. When I got frustrated because the number on the scale didn't move like I thought it should, she reminded me of how far I'd come and encouraged me to keep going! She never once (at least that I can remember) chastised me for what I ate or what I did "wrong" - she realized it was a journey and that there would always be setbacks...then she helped me find a better way and encouraged me to keep moving forward...and always celebrated my success! :)
Here's to moving forward!!! =)
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