Weekly Weigh-In...a tad late

I did, in fact, weigh in on Friday...just didn't get a chance to blog about it until now!  It's been a bit of a crazy week - and the weekend followed suit!  ;)  But now, the house is quiet and I know if I don't blog about it now...well, it could be NEXT Friday before I get a chance to sit down and blog about it. ;)

If you read my blog last week, you know that I had a one pound gain...but lost 4 inches in my waist.  Well...this week, I lost another 2.8 pounds when I stepped on the scale Friday morning.  That means, I've lost a total of 7.8 pounds in the last 3 weeks (with one of those pounds being lost twice!  LOL!)!  That in itself is pretty impressive to me...that's better than an average of 2 pounds per week!!!  But what's even MORE impressive to me is that, other than taking my Plexus Accelerator pills with breakfast and drinking my Plexus "pink drink" mid-morning, I haven't really DONE anything to lose the weight.  I have not followed an eating plan or even really watched what I ate.  The ONLY exercise I have done (aside from keeping up with 3 active boys...two of my own and one that I babysit) is ride my bike ONCE about a week or so ago around my neighborhood and to the grocery store (which is in my neighborhood).

I've been meaning to get back to exercise...really I have!  After all, I have a year's membership to the park & rec fitness centers that's just going to waste.  But, the best time for me to go is at 6am while my hubby is getting ready for work and the boys are asleep...problem is, I am so NOT a morning person...so when 6am rolls around, it's all too easy to roll over and go back to sleep with promises of exercising later that never actually materialize.  And yet, I know when I do exercise, I feel so much better!  :)

So...I'm making a goal of working out at least 3-4 days this week.  :)  I actually already acquainted my body with the gym this weekend.  I went yesterday morning.  It started with a message I got from a very dear friend who is almost to the end of her weight-loss journey.  It was a very simple message..."Hey...how have you done with your exercise this week?"  It convicted me...and encouraged me, all at the same time!  So, I mustered up all of my determination and took my little happy self to the gym.  Since it was late Saturday morning, there weren't many people actually in the gym...most of them were lined up for the pool.  ;)  So, I got myself situated and climbed up on the elliptical machine.  This particular machine has poles that move back and forth to exercise your arms, as well as stationary arms for a lighter workout or to check your pulse.  Usually, I'll do the poles that work my arms for a short bit (maybe 5 minutes or so)...but the majority of the time, I'm holding on to the stationary ones.  However, this time, I grabbed those poles and pretty much used them the WHOLE 30 minutes!  I only used the stationary ones when I was turning a page of the book I was reading!  I did notice that I was sweating a lot more while I was working out than I usually did...but it really didn't dawn on me what I'd done until I was almost done!   I don't think I've ever used the arm poles for the whole time before!  :)  I was drinking my Plexus "pink drink" while working out...so I wonder if that might have had something to do with it...maybe it gave me the extra boost I needed to work a little harder!  :)

I am looking forward to see what kind of affect exercise might have on my weight loss.  Of course, that means I really do have to get up at least 3 mornings this coming week and follow through on my commitment to use that gym membership!  ;)  To be continued...  :)

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!

You know, whenever I'm on a diet, I live by the scale.  If I'm down a pound or two, I'm happy.  But if I've gained even a tenth of a pound, I'm frustrated.  And sometimes, it makes me want to give up.  For the most part, I know what caused the fluctuation...a certain time of the month, too much salty food, wrong food choices, not enough exercise, etc.  The list could literally go on and on!  But, it doesn't matter the reason why...if it's not less than it was the week before, I feel frustrated...discouraged even!

I've put a lot of stock in what the scale says...and have often let it determine my mood for the day.  Lost a pound?  WOO HOO!  Time to celebrate!!!  Gained a pound?  Feel like a complete failure, beat myself up for not doing x, y, or z...sometimes, give up completely and drown my sorrows in the most fattening, sugary, junky food I can find!  Sometimes, lots of it!

SOOO...today, I step on the scale to check out my progress for my second week on Plexus.  Imagine my surprise when I notice I've gained a pound!  After all, I'd lost SIX last week!  So...I start the same ole' pattern of trying to figure out what I did "wrong" - not realizing at the moment that the only thing I really did wrong was putting all my trust in a scale to gage my efforts.  Sure, I had a couple of sodas this week, and some junk food...and yeah, that could account for the weight gain.  But, it could be attributed to other things, too.  Besides, I feel so much better in general and I'm noticing that my close are feeling a bit looser on me.

THEN I REMEMBERED...just a few days ago, I'd seen on Facebook where my friend/upline thought she had hit a plateau until she measured herself.  After seeing the results of her measurements, she went to the store to buy a new pair of pants to celebrate...and discovered that she had dropped from a size 11/12 to a size 7/8, even though she'd only dropped 3 pounds!

SO THEN I THOUGHT...hmmm, maybe I should check my own measurements!  ;)  Now, imagine my surprise when I discovered that I had lost FOUR INCHES from my waist since last Friday!!!

So, while it might not be what I wanted to see on the scale, I'm so glad I listened to my friend and got those measurements last week so I could see that there really was a measurable difference!!!  :)

Update 5/6/13:
Just as an update...got back on the scale this morning and not only had I lost that pound I gained, but another one as well!  There was a reason for the weight gain...and if you are woman, you'll know what I mean - but if you are a man, you'll think it's TMI! LOL! 

My First Week on Plexus...WEIGH IN DAY! :)

Well, I started this blog on Friday when I weighed in...and came back today to finish it up.  Unfortunately, one of the curses of being a fast typist is that if you accidentally hit the Ctrl button and the A button at the same time in the midst of your typing, you lose EVERYTHING you have typed.  Yeah...that's exactly what happened to me!  BOOOOO!!!!  :(

Yes, I did have a mini temper tantrum when it happened (Why yes, I did stomp off into the other room muttering that I hate computers, why do you ask? <wink, wink>)...but I'm better now.  And while I won't try to re-type everything I'd written (not sure I could if I wanted to), I'll get you the gist of it anyway.  After all, sometimes less is more...right?  ;)  Anyway...

You already know from my previous post that I think Plexus is amazing...and the scales on Friday proved it! I lost 6.2 pounds in one week!  WOOT!  And I didn't exercise one bit that week...didn't even pretend like I was on a diet.  The ONLY thing I did was take my Accelerator capsules at breakfast and my pink drink after I finished my coffee (usually mid-morning).  Now, even on my best diet behavior, I've never been able to lose that kind of weight in a single week!  So...this is even MORE amazing!  :)

I even went to CiCi's Pizza for lunch!  Yep...all you can eat salad, pasta, pizza, and dessert!  And in case you've never been...their cinnamon rolls and Bavarian cream dessert pizza are AH-MAZING!!!!  I usually get my money's worth and then some whenever I eat there and end up leaving stuffed to the gills!  If I do happen to go while trying to diet, then I end up leaving feeling deprived!  But this trip was different!  I only went back to get seconds for the babies (my 10 month old and a 17 month old I babysit).  And here's the most amazing part of all...I had NO desire whatsoever to get ANY dessert!  Nope...not the first cinnamon roll...not even a sliver of the Bavarian cream dessert pizza I love so much!  And when I walked out the door, I felt satisfied...not the least bit stuffed or deprived!

My hubby noticed a difference when we were at an end of the year program for my son's homeschool co-op group.  There was a dessert social after the program..and we hadn't eaten dinner yet.  I went up and got an assortment of desserts to share with my hubby...but ended up only having a couple bites of each of the two different puddings and a couple of orange slices.  I licked a little bit of the cupcake icing off my fingers - but had no desire to eat the actual cupcake (and it was GOOD!).  Anyone who knows me knows that my all-time favorite cake is either yellow or white cake with decorator icing (you know the kind - powdered sugar and shortening, with a dash of vanilla extract).  Yeah...that's what this was, in cupcake form!  David looked at me and with disbelief in his voice asked, "Are you done?  You're NOT going to eat a cupcake?"  He wasn't being mean...he just had never seen me turn down a cupcake before!  ;)  But after just the few bites of pudding, I felt like I'd eaten so much sweet that even another bite would have simply been too much!  So...for probably the first time in my life, I put a delicious cupcake in the trash because I just couldn't eat it.  I was still hungry...I just couldn't eat any more sweets.  We went out for dinner afterwards and I enjoyed my meal, but again, had ZERO desire for dessert!

I think the thing I love most about Plexus is that it changes my desire for the foods that are not healthy for me.  I don't even like Diet Coke anymore...and I was a Diet-Coke-a-holic before getting on Plexus!  But now, I'd much rather have water or unsweet tea!  Now, don't get the idea that I don't eat sweets at all anymore...I do.  In fact, those same cupcakes I'd turned down on Tuesday evening at the dessert social showed up at a playdate (the leftovers, anyway) two days later.  I had one and it was every bit as good as I thought it would be...and yet, after one, I was done.  I didn't even want any more!  And for me, that's the biggest part of the battle!  I hate to feel deprived...so, when I feel I can't have something, that's really all I want.  When I've been on diets in the past, even diets like Weight Watchers - where there are no forbidden foods, but there are limited amounts, I always end up feeling deprived and give up.  But with Plexus, I don't have the desire to overindulge in unhealthy foods, so I naturally eat less.  And as a result, I lose weight.  

For me, this is as win-win as it gets in the diet world!  I don't have to take a lot of supplements or remember to take them at a certain amount of time before eating.  I don't have to count calories or have forbidden foods.  I just take 2 Accelerator capsules with breakfast and mix one drink mix with water after I've finished my coffee (and it even tastes good, too)...and I'm done for the day!  This is by far the easiest thing I've ever done to lose weight (and it's all-natural, too!)!  I'm so thankful I gave it a try!  :)  

Looking forward to getting on the scale next week (yeah...I can't believe I actually said that, either!)!  ;)

Plexus Slim...My New Best Friend!

A couple days ago, I told you how I tried a new product and loved it so much that I ended up signing up to sell it to get it at a discount.  Now...before you worry, I'm not writing this to try to sell you anything.  I just want to keep a record of my experience with it so that when the time comes (and I really believe it will) to write a testimonial, I'll be able to look back and remember how it was from the beginning!  :)  If you are interested, read on...if not, no worries.  This post is mostly for me!  ;)

So...you're still with me, huh?  OK...well, here's what the last couple of days have been like.  My welcome kit arrived late Thursday afternoon.  So, I started back on the product Friday morning.  I noticed on the bottle & package that you could take one or two of the Accelerator and/or Plexus Slim drink - so I took 2 Accelerators and 1 drink (because there were 60 pills, but only 30 drink mixes).  I didn't feel much different on Friday...but I slept VERY well Friday night!  I didn't have a lot of energy by Friday evening and ended up taking a nap while David fixed dinner.  ;)  I did get on the computer a bit after dinner, but ended up laying back down and drifted in and out while attempting to watch a movie on TV.  I think my body must have been storing up some energy, because that's the ONLY day so far I've felt that way!  :)  David even joked yesterday morning that I should take 4 pills to give me more energy...but I only took 2!  ;)

The big difference came yesterday as I noticed some very significant differences in how I felt about food.  We had toast with All-Fruit jam for breakfast...and that's it.  Now, under normal circumstances, that would never have been enough to fill me up, but it was.  I even went to Publix to get sandwiches for lunch and a few other necessities and didn't feel the need to buy junk food (other than BOGO muffins for the boys)!  I did try the sample of the recipe they are promoting that they always have around lunch/dinner time...and for those of you who know me best, here's a real shocker - it was tilapia!  Yep, I tried fish...and LIKED it (WITHOUT any vinegar or tarter sauce)!  ;)  But, I don't think that was a Plexus thing...I just think it was prepared very well and didn't taste fishy at all!  ;)  The reason I mention that is because it was the ONLY thing I ate at the grocery store (and it was just a couple of bites)...you'll see in a minute why that is significant!  ;)

After I got home and got the groceries put away, David and I sat down to our sandwiches for lunch.  BOTH of us were satisfied after eating only half of our wrap sandwich!  Let me just say, this is a HUGE deal for me (not so much David, as he has always been more in tune with his hunger cues than I am)!  I have NEVER left half of my wrap uneaten before unless I had really snacked and snacked just prior to eating it (which is why the one sample is such a big deal - that never would have had ANY effect on my hunger before...except to make me want MORE!)!  ;)  I did NOT feel deprived when I put half my sandwich away...and I didn't desire to eat again for many hours after.

Yesterday afternoon, I made a very yummy dessert for our Bible & Life Group's (BLG) Pizza on the Playground social after church last night.  I had seen the recipe on Facebook several weeks ago and shared it on my wall...and had a request to make it for our social.  This dessert has cookie dough on the bottom, a Reese's cup or oreo in the center, and brownie on top...instant sugar coma!  ;)  Here's a picture that accompanied the recipe on Facebook:

Yummy...right?  I'm not posting pictures of my cookies because they are not so pretty.  LOL!  But, according to Christopher and those at the social last night, they are delicious!  Now...here's another amazing thing...not once did I want to eat the cookie dough (HUGE!) or lick the spoon/bowl of the brownie mix while I was making these.  I had a few bites of the first batch that basically fell apart because I forgot to grease the pan while making them...but that was it.  Christopher got to lick the bowl AND spoon and even got to eat some of the crumbles from the first batch that were left in the pan after I scooped out the few I could salvage (the rest of the crumbles are in a plastic container and will most likely be used as topping for ice cream or something).  ;)

David and I planned to eat our other half of our sandwich before church since the social didn't start until 8:30pm (after our BLG class).  However, neither of us were hungry enough and were just fine until we got out to the playground...and I even chatted with friends before actually getting out there!  Unlike previous socials like this, I was NOT starving when I got out there!  I had a few pieces of pizza and some carrots with ranch...and had NO desire for any of the desserts out there (again, another HUGE deal for me!)!  And though I did have one soda with my pizza (the only one I've had since Thursday), I had no desire for a second one...and chose water instead!

We were on the playground until 10pm and I was able to focus on conversation with friends instead of filling my stomach!  It was wonderful!  When we got home, I caught up on Facebook and played a few games on my phone, then went to bed and had a GREAT night of sleep!  I usually wake up 4-5 times during the night...and last night I think I only got up once or maybe twice!  And this morning, though we did sleep in, I didn't feel as groggy as I usually feel in the mornings (regardless of how much sleep I get)!

I don't know about you (if you even struggle with your weight at all)...but for me, not having the desire to eat is half the battle!  Feelings of being deprived or having to eat differently than those around me is my greatest obstacle to weight loss!  I've always heard that if you want to be a skinny person, you should eat like a skinny person.  I've watched many naturally skinny people in my life...and they seem to eat whatever they want, but in much smaller amounts than what usually satisfies me.  Plexus allows me to eat what others are eating, but seems to change my desire for unhealthy foods and desire more of the healthy foods (like carrots over dessert!)...and if that's all Plexus does, I'm happy with it!  For me, my struggle with weight loss has NEVER been about not knowing what to eat...I know all the right things to do...I just haven't been able to have a consistent desire to do them (and lately, no desire at all other than in theory)!  In the last several months, I would make a plan in my head that SOUNDED good...but when the next meal time arrived, that plan flew right out the window!  But with Plexus, I don't even plan...it just happens because the desire isn't there.  That amazes me!

A few days ago, I mentioned the study I'd seen where Plexus was originally tested to help those with Type II Diabetes (with weight loss a secondary consideration).  Here is the study, in case you are interested:

Like I said at the beginning of this post, I am NOT writing it to sell you anything...but, if this journey intrigues  you at all and you want to know more, please feel free to ask me or check out my website: www.karaj.myplexusproducts.com.  :)  Otherwise...just stay tuned as I look forward to my first weigh-in and measurement check!  ;)

Yeah, I know...it's been awhile! ;)

I did not even want to look back to see how long since my last post, but I did.  Yeah...it's been a few months.  ;)  And I've had a few questions from people who see me on a fairly regular basis...thank you for keeping me accountable!  Even though I've just been playing around with weight loss lately (translation: not even pretending to take it seriously), I do appreciate you asking me how it's going.  It reminds me to keep going.  :)

I've done some exercise here and there, but not nearly as consistent as I should be.  I've found some pretty convenient excuses for why I can't...headache, up too late the night before, I can go later in the day (but never do), not feeling well, etc.  And I'm not even going to pretend that my eating has been anywhere near what it should be...with the exception of a single week.  The funny thing is...it was the very week I usually binge the most...and I'm pretty sure every woman knows exactly what I mean - that lovely week that shows up once a month and wrecks all kinds of havoc on our bodies and emotions!  Yeah...I see those heads nodding in agreement!  You have those too, don't you?  ;)

So...you may be wondering what was different about that week this time around?  The ironic thing is that there was only ONE thing different...and it was something I never would have suspected would actually make a difference!  A friend of mine sent me a little packet of a new product to try.  The packet included 3 sticks of a drink powder similar to the Crystal Light On-The-Go sticks, and 3 little pills.  She had told me about this product several times before and I'd watched the weight literally melt off of her via Facebook (she lost 35 pounds in 3 months)...so, although I was skeptical, I was also intrigued!

Now, let me say, I've tried just about every weight loss plan, fad, supplement, etc. out there with not much luck or success (obviously)...mostly because I just enjoy eating good food WAY too much and I usually end up feeling deprived when I try to diet.  I'm also not a fan of adverse side effects...so if a supplement causes stomach cramps or excessive visits to the bathroom, it's not going to happen for long (translation: the first time it happens, I'm done!).  I just don't have time for that.  So, I really wasn't holding out a lot of hope for this product...but, Jami took the time to send it to me and I knew she'd want a report, so I was at least willing to give it a try...totally expecting to tell my friend it didn't work, but don't feel bad because nothing does for me.  ;)

Well...I was in for quite a surprise!  My first surprise was when I fixed the first drink mix...it actually tasted REALLY good!  I found myself looking forward to it each morning (and wanting to drink it more than just once a day).  I started noticing some other things, too...more energy, less hunger, fattening food and sodas losing their appeal, and I just generally felt better about myself (most likely due to the increase in energy and lack of junk food).  At the end of the three days, I'd actually lost a whole pound.  Now, a pound might not sound like much to you...and certainly isn't much in the grand scheme of the total amount I need to lose...but considering the ONLY thing I consciously did differently during those three days was take the product, I find it quite amazing!  I didn't restrict my diet at all...but I noticed I got full faster.  I didn't exercise...but I did notice I had more energy, so instead of laying down to relax while the little boys took their afternoon nap, I was up getting things done.  I didn't plan to give up fast food or sodas...but I lost my taste for them.  I really was pleasantly surprised!  :)

When my samples ran out, I actually missed them.  Most of all, I missed how I felt while I was taking them.  I told my friend how much I enjoyed the samples but wasn't sure I could afford it.  That's when she suggested I start selling it, and consequently could get it at a discount.  I told her I'd think about it and talk it over with my hubby...and then I started doing some research.  What I found out was that this supplement was originally designed to help diabetics get their blood sugar under control.  It was not originally developed as a weight-loss supplement (that was a secondary consideration).  In their study, all seven of the diabetics in the trial not only lost weight, but lowered their blood sugar to a normal range.  This was of particular interest to me because diabetes runs in my family and considering my current condition, could be an issue I could have to deal with down the road if changes aren't made.  I also found out through my research that the company has an A+ rating from the Better Business Bureau and I couldn't really find anything negative about it online.  So, I talked it over with David (who had also noticed a change in me while I was on the supplement)...and we decided I'd go for it!  :)  David said he'd like to try the product too.

What is this supplement?  It's called Plexus Slim and it is all-natural.  The 3-day trial I had (and what I'll be doing again starting tomorrow, now that my starter kit has arrived) is the Accelerator and the Plexus Slim drink mix combo.  The best part of it is that I take the Accelerator with breakfast and then drink the drink mix after I finish my morning coffee (usually mid-morning).  That's really all there is to it.  So many times, I have gotten frustrated with products that required me to take it 30 minutes before every meal.  That's just not practical for me...I'm barely awake 30 minutes before breakfast and I never really know what time I'll get to eat lunch or dinner.  And, I'm basically a rule-follower, so if I can't do it right, I pretty much don't do it.  But this, I can handle.  :)

I've seen some of the testimonials on the Plexus Facebook testimonial page of others who have taken the product...and the average weight loss is about 1-2 pounds per week, which is really where it should be.  There are people who were 300+ pounds a year ago who are now at a healthy weight because of how Plexus has helped them.  :)  This really encourages me...and I can't wait to give my own testimonial!  :)  If at any point you are interested in trying the product yourself, let me know.  Otherwise...just stay tuned!  I'm hopeful that my posts on this blog will become a lot more regular in the near future!  :)

Biggest Loser Style Workout...Well, Sort Of! ;)

I didn't get in many workouts this past week...started out with a bang on Monday...but then, Life took over.  I woke up with a migraine on Wednesday, so I couldn't work out before David left for work, and on Friday, well...let's just say I was struggling with "girl issues" and leave it at that.  ;)  So, today, even though I woke up with another headache, I was determined not to let that stop me!  I drank TWO full cups of coffee (both for the caffeine and to wash down the ibuprofen for the headache) this morning and mustered up some determination to get back at it. 

After my hubby took the boys to the Farmer's Market to find some fresh fruits and veggies this morning, I sat down with my second cup of coffee and the Bible app on my phone (to give me some strength for the journey).  After finishing today's reading (I'm attempting to read through the Bible), I got myself up and before I could come up with a single excuse why I shouldn't, I got myself ready to work out.  While getting ready, I debated over whether I would drive the mile (or so) to the gym or ride my bike.  I was still debating this as I walked out to the garage (after all, the ONLY hill in town is between my house and the gym...and it's a doozy...at least to the non-athletic!).  I finally decided on the bike (probably somewhat spurred on by the return of my hubby and boys from said Farmer's Market and my hubby's inquiring if I was going to ride my bike!).  ;)

So, I mounted my bike and prepared to head off...my sweet 8-almost-nine(gasp!)-year-old reminding me not to work out so hard that I pass out on the machines (can you tell we watch a lot of Biggest Loser around my house?)...and then demonstrated for me what he's seen on the show.  Cute little thing that he is...jogging like he's on a treadmill and then dramatically falling back as though he's passed out.  Good thing I love that boy!  ;)  Anyway, with that image now firmly planted in my head, I was off.  But, as I peddled away, I couldn't help but notice a look of pride in my son's eyes as he sent me on my way with a kiss and a wink!  He wants a healthy mom.  I can't blame him...I want to be healthy for him and his brother...and any grandchildren they might give me someday (WAAAAYYYY down the road!)!  :)

I made it to the gym.  That may not sound like a big achievement to you...but it was for me.  The "hill" that I mentioned earlier is actually an overpass over a major interstate.  About midway up the hill, when my legs would not push another rotation on those peddles, I decided to hop (ok...awkwardly climb) off the bike and walk it to the top of the hill.  There was a time, not so long ago, that I could actually peddle up that hill...and I'm determined there will be another one soon...but, today was not that day!  As I reached the summit and enjoyed the glide down the other side of the "mountain" a crazy idea popped into my head...maybe, rather than just parking my bike when I got to the gym, I'd ride around the trails that surrounded it until I'd ridden for 30 minutes (you see, I have this cool app on my phone called Nexercise that was counting the minutes of my bike ride and taunting me to keep going)!  So, I decided that would be my cardio and maybe I'd do the weight machines when I went in the gym.  At least that sounded like a good plan at the time.  What I didn't count on, however, was the condition of my backside when my 30 minutes of bike riding (over bumpy, cracking sidewalks, no less) was up and the realization that the LAST thing I wanted to do was to sit down on ANYTHING!  So...instead, I set myself up on the treadmill and began walking & reading Take Three (the Karen Kingsbury book I'm currently reading).

I can NOT for the life of me get on an exercise machine (or do any exercise, for that matter) without having something to occupy my mind.  If my brain is not entertained (or otherwise engaged), then it spends the entire time I'm working out reminding my body of how hard it's working and trying to convince me to give up and go back to the couch.  So, if exercise is going to happen for more than five minutes, entertainment is a must!  I find that Karen Kingsbury books work well for me because I get so sucked into the story line it's like it's happening in real life!  So real, in fact, that as I read during my workout today about one of the characters leaving a crisis pregnancy center, I found myself lifting up a prayer for her (and then scolding myself for being so silly)!  But, that engagement in the book does wonders for my workout...by the time I got to a stopping point in the book, I looked down at the treadmill screen and realized I'd been walking for 48 minutes!  WHOA!!! 

I contemplated working out on the weight machines...but so much time had passed and I just couldn't figure out where to start.  This is where Bob, Jillian, or Dulvet would have come in handy.  They, I'm sure, would have known EXACTLY what I should have done next...and would have pushed me to do it!  But, lacking their knowledge or motivation, I looked through my Nexercise app for types of exercise it records and I saw "rowing" and thought, hey...there's a rowing machine in the gym...so I decided to give it a go.  OH. MY. GOODNESS!!!!  That thing totally kicked my butt!  After only 5 minutes, my arms and legs went on strike and let me know in no uncertain terms that they would NOT be continuing with that exercise (probably, now that I think about it, because I had no way of entertaining my brain during the workout and it succeeded in calling the strike)!  So, with a 12-15 minute bike ride ahead of me, I decided I'd had enough for today and made my way out.  Kind of an anti-climactic end to my workout...but hey, I'm only human!

With a quick text to my hubby to let him know I was on my way home, I set off again on my bike.  I know it wasn't anywhere near the six hour workouts that the contestants on the Biggest Loser face each day they are on the ranch...but for me, it was the longest workout I've had in a very long time!  Had I had a trainer there to push me further, I might have done more...but then again, maybe it's just as good that I didn't.  After all, my muscles are already complaining...so I might not be able to move tomorrow!  But, with my limited time during the week to exercise, I really need these Weekend Warrior Workouts!  ;)  And for the record...you will NEVER (yep, I said NEVER) actually see me on the Biggest Loser!  For one thing, there is NO WAY on the planet I could be away from my hubby and boys for that long (even if I got kicked off in the first week, which would be humiliating, to say the least)!  Secondly, as I've said before...I don't do well in situations where I feel judged.  And consequently, I most likely would be one of the first contestants to go home...simply because in that type of environment, I would totally shut down.  So, if I didn't walk off before the first weigh-in...then, it's fairly a safe bet I'd be voted off in the first week.  Knowing that, why in the world would I ever put myself through that type of public humiliation?  I watch the show to get ideas on how to work out, motivation to do so, and to cheer on others who are facing the same struggles I face (with more gumption than I'll ever be able to muster, since they are on the show and I'm not).  But actually being on the show...that's just not for me (despite the times I've fanaticized about it while watching the show)!  Now...if I had a personal trainer that could privately help me work through everything I need to work through to be successful in my weight loss, that would be another story.  But that takes money...lots of money...money I don't have!  So...here I am blogging...and taking it one day at a time!  ;)

Please keep praying for me (if you are praying for me...and if not, please do!).  Last week, I wanted to eat anything BUT what's healthy for me.  I know, for the most part, it was just a "time of the month" thing (sorry if that's TMI)...but still, I really need to get myself in check.  I read this morning on Facebook that a girl I'd graduated high school with died suddenly last week from a heart attack.  She apparently had just gotten home from getting her taxes done and was heading to the kitchen to make dinner when she literally dropped down dead...and she's MY age!  She wasn't a close friend or anything and I doubt I would have even recognized her walking down the street (I only went to that high school for a little more than a year, since we moved in February of my Junior year, and we had a graduating class of around 150 or more, I think)...but it was certainly a wake-up call!  If I don't get my weight in check...that could be me! 

Having said that, please don't read that last paragraph as permission to become my diet police. Kind encouragement to keep going is always welcome and very much appreciated, though!  I just know myself well enough to know that if you start judging the morsels I put in my mouth it will only lead to rebellion on my part and a destruction of any willpower I might have left.  This includes silently judging me with your eyes.  You know what I'm talking about...when you look at the food, and then look at me (sometimes with a repeat of glances)...as if to say, "Do you REALLY need to eat that?" or "Is THAT on your diet?"  I've struggled with my weight and how that has made me feel different from everyone else for so long that I'd rather sabotage my own efforts and enter my own little world of denial than to fully register any judgment I feel (real or imagined).  I'll pretend your words (or the way your eyes suddenly widen at the sight of me eating) don't bother me, and I'll stubbornly add even more to my plate (or eat more later when you aren't looking) than I would have if I hadn't felt judged.  That's not to say it's always your fault or that I want you feeling like you have to walk on eggshells around me, either.  Unfortunately, my senses have become so fine-tuned to diet police around me, that I'll sometimes feel judgment even when it isn't really there.  That's something I'm dealing with...and something I hope to overcome in time.  In the meantime, if you see me and think of it, just offer a word or two of encouragement.  That will go a long way in diffusing those feelings of judgment that I'm hearing in my head and projecting on to you, whether you are really thinking them or not.  :)  And pray for me...LOTS of prayer!  It's the ONLY way I'm going to get off this crazy roller coaster I've been on for far too long and find out what it's like to walk on solid ground!  :)

P.S.  Thanks for enduring that rant in my last paragraph.  I know most of you who are reading this aren't judging me...either because you are on the same roller coaster, have finally gotten off that roller coaster (and still remember the ride), or just because you love me as I am and in the midst of my struggle to become who might have been!  But, sadly, there are those in my life who will take any mention on my part that I'm making a change as their permission to appoint themselves as my personal diet police, not caring for a minute how that might make me feel.  So...if you have loved me unconditionally, no worries!  That rant was not about you!  :)  If you're on this roller coaster with me and you've mentioned a crazy bend we're about to go around (again!)...please don't read that last paragraph as applying to you!  I don't mind talking about the ride with others who have been on (or are still on) it with me...or even those who want to understand what the ride is like and offer encouragement along the way.  But just like on a roller coaster at the amusement park...there is no way to fully understand what you see and hear others talk about if you've never buckled yourself into one of the seats and taken the ride yourself!  Not that I advocate others jumping on this proverbial roller coaster...in fact, if you can...avoid it like the plague...just not those of us who have been strapped in and are walking all wobbly-legged and dizzy-headed from the ride!  We might just need a shoulder to lean on until we can get our land legs back again!  ;)

Take 2

Yes, I have been MIA for quite some time.  No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth...if you are on Facebook at all, you at least know that much.  ;)  But I did, unfortunately, fall off the bandwagon...and I fell pretty hard.  I'm a little battered and bruised from the fall (smile), but I'm climbing back on and I'm going to give it another go (maybe that "take 2" should be more like take 2 bazillion and two...but, when you grab a pic from Facebook, you just go with it)!  ;)

It drives me crazy when people who have never had to struggle with their weight (and when I say struggle, I don't mean 10-20 pounds...I'm talking SERIOUS, sometimes lifelong, weight struggles) say that overweight people should "just go on a diet" - like it's just that easy.  Even with an ever-growing obesity problem in America, there are still people who think that overweight people want to be that way, that they just don't care, or that they don't have a strong enough desire to change.  Before you start to judge someone for their weight (or for ANY reason, for that matter), take time to find out what it's REALLY like to walk in their shoes.  If desire alone could make it happen, I would have been a size 2 loooong time ago (or at least a 12)!  ;)  If desire + diet, or even desire + diet + exercise, could make it happen, I'd have already achieved that goal.  But, it's much more than that.  It's overcoming mental, as well as physical obstacles.  It means separating the memory from the food...and finding a place for each.  It means overcoming a lifetime of bad habits...some of them rooted in childhood.  It means realizing the weight did not appear overnight and won't leave that quickly either.  It means understanding that fad diets are a fad for a reason...they only last so long (and usually are not that healthy).  It means putting yourself first, even when you feel guilty doing so.  It means taking extra time to prepare meals, rather than just picking up fast food.  It means planning ahead for special events and eating out.  It means forgiving yourself when you fail, because to beat yourself up will only make you spiral further away from your goal.  It means making the commitment over and over again...and over again!

So...here I am...starting over...AGAIN!  I'm not doing Weight Watchers right now...just doesn't fit into our monthly budget at the time.  But, I know what to do...I just need to do it.  We did use money from my hubby's bonus at work to pay for a year's membership to the fitness centers in our community through Parks & Rec.  I set a goal of working out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings while my hubby gets ready for work...and I'm 2 for 2 on that for my first week!  I purchased the membership on Tuesday after my son's homeschool co-op, so Wednesday was my first day working out.  I also plan to find some time this weekend to put in some extra workout time.

While I'm not officially following an eating plan, I am watching what I eat.  There will be times I'll splurge (our Bible Study class always has a nice spread of snacks on Saturday nights...and then, there's the Super Bowl party...but, I digress...), but even in those times, I'll be more careful about what I put on my plate and watch what I eat the rest of the week...even put in a little extra time at the gym when I can.  :)

Once upon a time in a land far, far away (at least according to my family who constantly tell me how FAAAARRRR away I live from them now), I had the blessing of living close to a cousin who was a BIG (read: bordering on obsessive) exercise fanatic.  She was that way because she had struggled with a weight problem in her childhood and had overcome it.  She never once made reference to my weight...but simply asked if I'd like to go with her to take her daughter (who was a baby at the time...not so much anymore) on a stroller ride.  We walked and talked...and before I knew it, it became a regular event...each time, I'm sure, walking just a little bit farther.  But, I didn't mind...I loved spending the time with my cousin!  It wasn't much longer before she had convinced me to join the YMCA and get up at the crack of crazy (5am!!!) to go workout together.  Somewhere along the way, our church started a weight loss group called First Place.  It was like Weight Watchers meets Bible study...and of course, my cousin was leading the nutrition portion.  She asked me to join, almost as if it were me doing her a favor...but as it turns out, she's the one who did me the huge favor!  In that group, I lost 80 pounds!  That was more than I had ever lost before...or have since.  I was actually the weight I claimed to be on my driver's license!  ;)  I kept it off for awhile, but life got in the way.  I was in school at the time, finishing up my teaching degree.  I ended up taking the night shift at my job so that I could do my internship during the day, which meant I only slept 3 hours a day (yes, DAY...afternoon, actually) during the week.  My cousin moved, due to her husband's job...so my workout/accountability partner was gone.  And when my degree was finished, I also moved and spent my first year here living with my other cousin (the twin of the one I'd worked out with...but who had never had a serious weight problem a day in her life).  That cousin once saw a picture of me at my, then, heaviest weight and made the comment that she didn't know if she could love me like that.  She quickly realized what she had said and apologized...but the comment still stung, and unfortunately, is still with me today.  I don't know if subconsciously I set out to prove her wrong or what...but the weight started slowly creeping back on.  Since that time, I've tried many, many, many times to lose the weight again...losing 5, 10...sometimes 30 pounds at a time, but then not following through or giving in to temptation, or just plain getting tired of always being on a diet and feeling different (read: total rebellion)!  And yet, here I am again.  I'd like to say it's my last time starting over...that I'll finally get it this time...and that's certainly my goal!  But if I fail, I plan to pick myself back up and jump right back on that bandwagon again (much sooner next time so that I don't lose as much ground)!!  :)

So...why am I telling you all this?  What do I need or want from you?  Yep, I do need your help!  But, once again...I'm not looking for a diet police (if you remember from my first post, that's a trigger for my rebellion!).  What I really need is cheerleaders!  When I look back on that most successful weight-loss journey, I realize that the one key ingredient that made it the most successful was not the diet, or the exercise, or even the accountability (though that was at times helpful)...it was that my cousin was my biggest cheerleader!  When I didn't think I could go any further, she cheered me on and I found the strength to keep going!  When I didn't want to eat another frozen diet meal (I was single at the time), she would help me find alternatives that would both be healthy and would fit into my busy schedule.  When I got frustrated because the number on the scale didn't move like I thought it should, she reminded me of how far I'd come and encouraged me to keep going!  She never once (at least that I can remember) chastised me for what I ate or what I did "wrong" - she realized it was a journey and that there would always be setbacks...then she helped me find a better way and encouraged me to keep moving forward...and always celebrated my success!  :)

Here's to moving forward!!!  =)